Crisis of Conscience

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Posts by Crisis of Conscience

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  46

  Roll call - How many here fake being a "good Jehovah's Witness"....like me!

  by Witness 007 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  there is no truth...i know that.

  to please my mum while she's alive and wife i go to meetings and the 3 day convention coming up.

  i would rather go to the dentist.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  Count me in. ATM I feel pretty comfortable with the way things are going. I have actually been able to relieve a lot of stress (as crazy as that sounds).

  I think the reason why is because while I'm not at the meetings, I do whatever I want. If I want to waste hours on TV, videogames, movies, etc., I do it. I don't keep up with the magazines, the text, the Bible reading, or anything else anymore. So most of the 168 hours of the week are mine. And hopefully I will reach the point soon where more, if not all, will be mine.

  I must say, it feels really good to do what I enjoy. The next goal is to sleep in on Saturday's. I already do it on Sunday. And I love it!!
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  38

  Gratitude from a long time lurker!

  by Thetis in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i cannot begin to tell you how grateful i am to you!

  you reassured me while i was one of the walking wounded.

  you know that line from the movie "shadowlands", when the student says to c.s.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  Welcome! I can say that in my case being here is indeed therapy, a form of release. I don't post a whole lot, but I read as much as I can. And because of it, I have been able to deal with a lot of anxiety that has come to me by being a witness, IMO.

  Enjoyed your expressions and look forward to hearing more from you!
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  11

  How many times have you read a post here and thought, "Wow, I thought only I felt that way about (insert spiritual/JW activity here)!"

  by Crisis of Conscience in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was inspired by a few different things people said.. one dealt with if you pray(ed) regularly with your husband/wife.

  a few people described how awkward they felt in doing it.

  i felt like that for the longest time!

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  Crisis of Conscience

  I was inspired by a few different things people said.

  One dealt with if you pray(ed) regularly with your husband/wife. A few people described how awkward they felt in doing it. I felt like that for the longest time! It just never felt right. Who could I tell though besides my wife?

  But as a witness we are taught that after time you begin to enjoy certain things or that maybe they become easier. (I'm still waiting.)

  The other thing is the ministry. I'm generally a confident person. But I never felt/feel confident while in the ministry. I wouldn't want to be bothered at home. And I hate being pushed to take something I don't want. So who am I to think that someone else likes it and wants it? I just can't get with that.

  Anyway, please share some of the things that you used to feel were only your thoughts and through JWN finally discovered you were human in thinking it and not alone.
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  23

  My experience

  by MrFreeze in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my experience is in no way remarkeable but i felt like sharing it anyway.

  i was raised a jw.

  my mom became one the year i was born.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  Welcome MrFreeze!

  As I keep reading different peoples experiences, I can't help but think to myself, "Wow! I thought I was the only one that felt that way! I guess not."

  So thank you for allowing me to put another check mark next to the "Yes-I-am-normal-despite-what-we-are-led-to-believe-as-witnesses" list.

  I'm thankful for no longer feeling alone. OOh this sounds like an idea for a new thread!
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  14

  Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 05-16-10 WT Study (LIVE UP DEDICATION)

  by blondie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  comments you will not hear at the 05-16-10 wt study (march 15, 2010, pages 14-18)(live up dedication).

  review comments will be in red or headed by comments.

  wt material from today's wt will be in black.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  Q 8. Why is it vital for you to ask Jehovah for his spirit?

  8. It is not a matter of simply studying the Scriptures and meditating. You need to keep asking for Jehovah's help and guidance. He can "do more than superabundantly beyond all the things we ask or conceive." (Eph. 3:20; Luke 11:13) How would you answer, though, if someone inquired, "Why should I continue to ask if God already knows 'what things I am needing before ever I ask him'?" (Matt. 6:8) Well, for one thing, by praying for holy spirit, you acknowledge your reliance on Jehovah. For example, if someone came to you for aid, you would do whatever you could to help him, one reason being that he asked you to assist him, showing trust in you. (Compare Proverbs 3:27.) Likewise, Jehovah finds pleasure in your asking him for his spirit, and he will give it to you.--Prov. 15:8.

  COMMENTSDoes a normal parent make their child ask many, many times before they will give them what they ask for?

  Thank you very much for this Blondie.

  I've thought a lot about this recently. So much that I can only describe it the same way I did in another post.

  And I've been wondering why we have to ask God for things so much, repeatedly. I mean if he can read the heart and knows what we need before we do, how many times do I have to ask?

  I like to illustrate it like this: Someone has a snakebite and needs an antidote, which you have in your possession. You can readily perceive this person needs help, perhaps without him saying a thing. But yet you expect him to keep asking you for the antidote, even begging you. And you respond that you realize what he needs but then proceed to say to please ask you again.

  Why would any loving human do that? That's how I been feeling about God and seemingly unanswered prayers. It's been awhile too but I'm really starting to realize it now.

  And then this sentence in the paragraph still leads to circular reasoning in my mind:

  Well, for one thing, by praying for holy spirit, you acknowledge your reliance on Jehovah.

  Well if He already knows what I need, wouldn't He also be able to tell whether I confide/rely on Him or not?

  Sigh.........Must this really be so complicated?
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  35

  Tuesday, May 11th Daily Text - The nerve!!!

  by Girlie in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just thought i would share what the borg is dispensing as "spiritual food at the proper time" .. .

  tuesday, may 11. quickly.

  they forgot his works; they did not wait for his counsel.ps.106:13.. some may have left gods flock because they did not agree with some scriptural teaching.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  I feel like I just sipped on soda and it came out of my nose! This is complete nonsense!! No wonder I don't read the daily text anymore!

  How arrogant!
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  52

  Was it EX JW literature / WT's or the BIBLE which woke you up? Post scriptures if any....

  by EndofMysteries in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i considered myself immune to ex jw stuff.

  no amount of old watchtowers or anything would change me.

  it was seeing treatment of others by elders and the bible itself, which woke me.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  I'm still in and "active." I could mention a variety, but amongst the things that woke me up, one that stands out is the ministry along with the magazines.

  I pioneered for a few years and I really began to think about the message I was giving to people, mainly how religion is responsible for so many attrocities and divisions. And that got the ball rolling and made me realize that even in being a JW you aren't immune to this. Especially when it comes to dividing families because of shunning, which I now take personal but supported in the past.

  Then an article in one of the magazines dealt with the subject of questioning the religion of ones birth or family. It offered so much openness to all other religions. But it made me wonder why I felt so oppressed in questioning anything within mine. Why the secrecy?

  Needless to say the brick wall in front of me came down. I now question everything, although mostly silent. I feel my days are numbered.

  And I HATE, I HATE, I HATE!......... religion.
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  32

  Anyone look at this board while still an IN and ACTIVE JW?

  by Mad Sweeney in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i vaguely remember looking at this board a few years ago, before i ever considered leaving the borg, and being appalled at the evil and hateful attitudes i saw here and scared to death of reading any further.. now i go back through years and years of posts and there is no evil or hate there at all.

  it's one of the most kind and welcoming boards i've encountered since the invention of the internet.. that is how well borg indoctrination works.

  it is eerily like 1984. black is white.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  Still 'in' and 'active'. I'm planning on resigning as a MS really soon.

  I had let my wife know I began doing "research." This site was where I was researching the most. She wasn't too excited and it made me feel bad so I stopped for a few months. But I couldn't deny how I felt inside. So I lurked here for a few months and finally joined.

  I had the initial scared feeling of being here, but it didn't take long to ware off when I realized I wasn't the only one with doubts and concerns. Thank you to everyone here! This is how I keep my sanity while 'in'!! Therapy at its best. And it's free!
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  83

  If you felt/feel that you had/have good, close "friends" in the org, how did/does it feel to just give them up?

  by Crisis of Conscience in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this is my biggest dilema.

  although mentally i really feel i could walk away from the org right now, i still have genuine love for the people i have come to know over the years.

  i love people!.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  This is my biggest dilema. Although mentally I really feel I could walk away from the org right now, I still have genuine love for the people I have come to know over the years. I love people!

  And yes I do realize that if they find out I have become "weak", most will, if not all, abandon our conditional friendship. So I have been keeping up a great act. But this feels like the only thing holding me in the org.

  What are your feelings?

  Comments and experiences welcome please.
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  42

  Do you still pray? Why?

  by gubberningbody in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jk6ilzaaami.

  .

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uazdcs-rmf4.

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  Crisis of Conscience

  I'm trying to keep it up but I feel somewhat disconnected at the moment.

  And I've been wondering why we have to ask God for things so much, repeatedly. I mean if he can read the heart and knows what we need before we do, how many times do I have to ask?

  I like to illustrate it like this: Someone has a snakebite and needs an antidote, which you have in your possession. You can readily perceive this person needs help, perhaps without him saying a thing. But yet you expect him to keep asking you for the antidote, even begging you. And you respond that you realize what he needs but then proceed to say to please ask you again.

  Why would any loving human do that? That's how I been feeling about God and seemingly unanswered prayers. It's been awhile too but I'm really starting to realize it now.

  I haven't given up.... yet.

  As far as why, I guess I still accept that there has to be a greater being out there. And it is what I have been taught.